Letting Words Heal the Soul

The older I get, the more I’ve learned just how hard life can be. You realize that much like a child’s growth, a marriage, or a carnival ride, life is a rollercoaster full of ups and downs. When life is kind to you and you’re up, it feels pretty good. But when life yanks the rug out from under you and takes an unexpected turn, there is very little to save you from the nauseating dip of the rollercoaster. We quickly realize there is no way around the grief or trauma, you just have to go through it. As lots of people know, a good book can be a much needed distraction, helping the griever to make it through another day.

As book lovers, we are quick to justify taking time for ourselves to read a good book, recognizing that reading is a form of self-care. A good story with characters we identify with can be the perfect escape from the tedious or painful struggles of our own lives. The right book can make us laugh or cry or both, releasing endorphins and providing us with a sense of feeling connected. We choose our genres and can make choices from literally thousands of book titles. What may not appeal to one reader, might be exactly what another reader is looking for. 

When a book brings me to tears, I applaud that the writer wrote a story that allows me to establish such a strong connection to their characters. I can empathize with them, whether I’ve experienced their particular trauma or not. Sometimes I get so attached, I’m reluctant to let the story end. I’m thankful for those authors who write the same character into their stories over and over again, fanning our need for more. Some of my favorite characters come from suspense authors and include Reilly and Alvirah from Mary Higgens Clark, Gail and Anthony from Barbara Parker, and the wildly popular Stephanie Plum from Janet Evanovich. I find all these characters can make me laugh, hold my breath, cry, or even cringe at any given moment. And don’t even get me started on the steamy relationship between Gail and Anthony let alone the love triangle Stephanie Plum finds herself in.

We all bring different life experiences to the books we read, some of us with more trauma and loss than others. I recently saw someone post a book that had listed possible emotional triggers on the first page. I found this interesting and a sure sign of the times. I appreciate that the author acknowledged this book might have triggers, putting the reader’s emotional well being above the sale of a book. Some of today’s most popular books include heavy topics such as sexual assault, domestic abuse, a hard break up, the loss of a parent or a child, and suicide. I can feel myself tense over particular topics, needing the writer to not approach it in a casual way, but to share with us the upheaval, the guilt, the anguish some topics may trigger. Making this emotional connection may be draining, but it can be cathartic as well, nurturing the reader through the process of grief.

This brings us to the flip side of books, the writer. Whether you’re a first grader just learning to write or an Indie author or a celebrated New York Times Best Selling author, writing can be cathartic too. Regardless of who we are, we all have stories to tell. Some of us are storytellers who relish in verbally sharing a fond memory over a glass of wine, the audience most likely having heard it before. Some of us have experienced loss so traumatic we write late at night, the loss too deep to share out loud, but the need to release it unrelenting before we can close our eyes and sleep.

For me, writing is a distraction that has seen me through difficult life experiences. When covid sent my family of first graders home, I could not accept that this was how our school year would end. Instead of a bevy of field trips, final celebrations, and field day shenanigans, I suddenly found myself attempting to educate through a computer. Our nurturing classroom sat silent, the halls empty, their end of the year learning yanked from them. 

During this time I distracted myself with writing Kiddie & the Major. I had already written thirtyish pages about my grandparents, set in New York City in the 1920’s. Although I never knew either of them, it seemed my legacy, their gift to me, was to write their story. While my husband got to go to work as an essential employee, I kept myself busy researching, writing, editing, and getting to know my grandparents, fictionally and literally. Four hundred pages and ten chapters later, Kiddie & the Major was ready to be published, Off & Running’s first novel to go to print. 

Excitedly and nervously I waited for my launch party, set for May 1st 2021, the day of the Kentucky Derby. It seemed the perfect date as my grandfather, Bill Corum (the Major), had coined the phrase “Run for the Roses” and been President of the Kentucky Derby until his death in 1958. But unexpectedly life’s roller coaster dropped us into a terrifying dip. The Monday before my launch party, my husband experienced a devastating brain bleed, a stroke and life as we knew it came to a screeching halt.  

Laying in our king size bed alone, sleep eluded me regardless of how exhausted I was. Staring out the window one night, I realized this stroke was like an earthquake, the devastation hard to see, scared that some of it had yet to reveal itself. The aftershocks rippled for days into our family, our friends, our jobs, our dog. It was that night that Strokewaves was created, my brain latching onto something that would give me the distraction it was desperate for. Now when I went to bed, I created new characters, Katherine Blake and Thomas Bell, imagining all that was to come to them in the chapters ahead. I welcomed an opportunity to think of something besides what life was throwing at us as I created my new characters. 

It was six months before I was in a place emotionally where I could sit down to my laptop and actually start writing their story. Just like people need comfort food at the end of a long day, I started their story in my hometown, comforted by writing about places I know and love. I had a notebook of scribbled notes I had written as ideas occurred to me, most often at one or two in the morning. I lived for the opportunity to write, create scenes I was in control of, keeping the story light, until it took its own dark turn. As Joe started to heal, my story took twists and turns, my creative energy fueled by finding our new normalcy in life. Although this book was inspired by Joe’s stroke, it is all fiction. When Thomas has his own medical emergency and Kat finds herself sitting alone in the emergency room waiting for their calvary to arrive, for sure I knew how that felt. That part was emotional to write, but also a release, letting go of much of the pain and loss as we moved forward.

Two years later, Strokewaves is published and the first in a series of books I intend to write. Joe is now independent at home, working part time, and we are loving life in the same yet different kind of way. It’s a story many people can share as strokes are one of the leading causes of disability in the United States. If you are needing an outlet for the stress or loss in your life, maybe it’s time to fill your Amazon cart with books that will distract and nurture you. If you’re looking for actual support in your pursuit of well being, The Happiness Project and Braving the Wilderness are both inspiring reads. Maybe it’s time to grab a notebook at the grocery store and just start writing, letting it all out and moving yourself forward. Whatever you’re going through, I hope you find a way to let words heal you.

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

Thanks for reading,

Elaine